You see this?
- a counter not doing any counting
It is a counter. For counting. You click on the clicky bit and it counts your clicks. It is essentially an analogue stat counter. Good, eh?
Hang on a minute you say, (and so very early in the post too!) – shouldn’t this be about getting a jumper for 50p? Sales you said. Shouldn’t it be about a dirt-cheap sofa that isn’t really worth the exaggerated price that it claims to have been for sale at during the summer? Shouldn’t it be about multi-packs of pants at knock down prices? Shouldn’t it?? Well Dear Reader, that counter was an out and out bargain I tell thee. I have rescued this counter from the morass of crassness that it had been marketed as – a ‘Totty’ counter for crying out loud. No really. I hadn’t been looking for a counter of this ‘Totty’ to be perfectly honest and hadn’t noticed the marketing until I was at the till as I was totally consumed by the excitement of the object’s potential. I can be like that. When I first saw it, I knew exactly what it should be used for – counting bloody seabirds!! Get the double rock on in! Did I say bargain? Yes I did.
Yep, two humble little pounds sterling for a natty little counting thingy because it is perfectly obviously that I get all confused when I am counting birds and run out of fingers and can’t get my boots off while counting the eleventh cormorant that passes my patch vista. No, this is proper advanced and scientific instrumentation for counting stuff that flies past in the distance at sea. It is the mark of a proper seawatcher you see, because you don’t need to take your eye out of your eyepiece to write anything county down. And thus you can just carry on watching and counting. Spot on.
You can already see the flaw in my reasoning can’t you. Imagine for a moment that I sit down in a sandy patch puddle and decide that I am going to count cormorants, but also want to count scoters and soft-plumaged petrels that are inevitably going to drift past – all at the same time – a simultaneous tally like situation! How am I going to count all those birds without sitting in the sand with my bootless feet stuck up in the air dribbling like a backward four year old trying to divvy up a bag of jelly babies? Oh, don’t worry about that – I bought three!
- counters doing hahahahahahaaa!
No, I’m not sure what that black bit is on top right either, but I couldn’t be arsed to crop it.