how wordpress sells your soul

Do you use wordpress to blog?  Thought it a little less contentious than the ever-expanding  über information-hoarder that is google/blogger?  WordPress would have you think that is way cooler and on it’s front page it says “We like to say that WordPress is both free and priceless at the same time“.  Free, maybe.  Priceless, I think not.

If you use wordpress you are inevitably, due to cookies, logged in if you view your blog or another blog on wordpress.    And if you are logged in to wordpress, there is a little detail that is kept from your delicate little eyes.  Adverts.

They are not so crass as to load the ads up on your home page, that would be a bit to obvious and you might spot it.  And you might object.  But if a non wordpress person views a  page individually (which is the normal route through words entered into a search engine), your new reader gets the ads at the bottom of the post.  I just spent 5 minutes with an old post and the F5 button and the following companies are advertising on my blog.

Groupon
David Lloyd Leisure
Dfs
Creditreport
Kuoni (who-oni?)
Specsavers (FFS!)
Churchill Insurance
Alpari (eh?)
Groupon (again)
Groupon (what the fuck is groupon anyway?)
Adoptuskids.org (they didn’t think that through did they?)
Tesco (natch)
Royal Caribbean International
Sky news.  No, really.
 
I suspect I could wear out the F5 button before the variety of ads stop. 
 
There am I, and quite possibly you too, having your service provider using your innocent little witterings to sell advertising space to  Rupert Murdoch  Satan.
 
You happy with that?  Because I’m not.
 
Don’t have a picture, but for once do have a splendid piece of musical architecture by The Aphex Twin which seems entirely apposite.  Do  yourself a favour, and turn the volume on and up.
 
 
Laters, yeah?
 

lowestoft starlings

I’ve done this before, but it does no harm to have another image of this roost murmuration again.  But 2012 stylee.

starlings doing yep, that'll do nicely

sunset

great yarmouth doing alright

a butterfly

Small copper I think you’ll find.  Been seeing a few, but this is the first one that sat still enough to get a shot of.

a butterfly doing tatty

beetle

For some strange reason, when I typed that word (beetle) I had a mental image of Michael Howard saying it.  Like he said ‘people’ – peepooool.  Beetooool.

a beetle doing diagnositic id feature

 

I’ll name it later.  Probably

blurchat

Regardez le visage, yeah?

Nice rural scene eh?  You see that umberelliform thingy?  That is what the camera focussed on.  You see that amorphous blob on top of the post?  That is what the camera was supposed to focus on.  Your pleasure, for it would have been all yours, in seeing a rubbish picture of a Whinchat on this blog will not now happen due to a technology shortfall.

near miss

It seemed that Friday was a good day for a seawatch.   I mean, a Fea’s Petrel flew past the evening before.  How good does it need to get? What with the patch being by the sea, it seemed a good idea to then proceed to sea and watch it.  Getting ready for ‘the big one’.  The patch tick of patch ticks.  A rare seabird.  Lets go!

The first Brents of the winter, some Wigeon, some Scoters.  No shearwaters, certainly not any Cory’s.  Or Gannets.  Some gulls.  No skuas. Some terns.  Hmmm.  But then!   Hang on one a second there is a small dark bird with a white rump flying almost on the waves!!! Bloody hell!  It couldn’t be could it?  Where has it gone?  Find it find it!  Oh, what is that what has gone and landed on that there rock.  Oh, it is a Wheatear. 

Swallow anyone?

a swallow doing not long now

stink on stink on stink

Do you remember those cans of ‘fart gas’ that you could buy when you were a kid?

a can doing pthfhwahyeurrknoaaaargh!

It would generally waste a large chunk of the pocket money that you had saved up for the annual summer holiday, having purchased it after falling for the illusion of actually having a real can of real flatus.  The reality was that the smell was rank, but not really that similar to proper anal gaseous discharge.  When I say rank, I mean rank.  Proper rank.  Not enough to produce instant projectile vomiting (that would be amaaaaazing), but enough to clear a ridge tent in quick time, even in the rain.  Chemically mixed rankness in spray form.  The smell contained in these containers was definitely not pleasant.  I wouldn’t go as far as saying that it was some concoction from the depths of hell, but certainly a little lister demon that may have passed this region had given a little whisper in the ear of the creator of fart gas.  You don’t remember fart gas?  Oh.

Compared to what I had whaft under my nostrils on Friday, cans of fart gas are about as unpleasant as fresh honeysuckle.  Here is a picture of something that really does smell.  Technically, this thing here “really really fucking stinks”.

a horn doing stink

 

As I approached it, the smell situation wasn’t in my mind but once I got close and the hoard of flies vacated the whaft whafted.  Rankness of another level.  Needless to say, this is a pan species patch tick and evidently it has a rude sounding scientific name – Phallus impudicus.  Gurgle.

rainy double patch tick whammy

So I went out into the patch and it looked like this.

sky doing just you wait sonny

Understandably, I started getting rained on.  So I retreated to the shelter of a nearby motorised vehicle and by the magic of the internal combustion engine I found myself by an area of scrubland.  Actually it is desolate industrial wasteground, but scrub makes it sound all wild and authentic and everything.  Bored out of my patch mind by the lack of birds to watch I even ended up taking pictures of a bird I don’t like.

a wood pigeon doing rubbish

I muttered, and took the Lords name in vain with reference to the rubbishness of local birds etc.  I mean Wrynecks are stalking local dunes, but not mine.  Greenish Warblers are being found in bushes a mere few miles away, but not here.  All I have is a Wood Pigeon.  And those Sparrows.  And that Blue Tit.  FFS.  Blue Tit?  But that would be a member of an entire family of birds that do not present themselves around here at all.  Have I fallen into the complacency of the common place again?  Yes!  Patch tick! Niiiiice!  Better get the bins out then and look at it properly.  It’s a respect thing.  But hang on, what is that flicky thing that is with the Tit and Sparrows in that rubbish bit of scrub/wasteland.  Oh it seems to look like a warbler.  At 8x magnification it revealed itself to be no less than a Chiffchaff.  Another bleeding patch tick!  Shmokin!

One rain shower for me, two photos for you dear reader, and a rambling post about two patch ticks.  Splendid.

hat-trick!

grasshopper doing enough already

Three posts and three bugs – brilliant eh?. 

This is the Woodland Grasshopper Omocestus rufipes and according to my book, it shouldn’t be in my garden nevermind Norfolk at all.  I’m not going to stick my neck out and claim any significance for this due to two facts.  I could have the id wrong.  The map in the bug book could be pants.

 

oak bush city limits

oak bush-cricket doing Meconema thallassinum

 

Pun-tastic!  Because, right, it’s an oak bush cricket and I live in the city and this is at the limits of what your humour can endure?  Anyway it was found in the bathroom and released into the wild where it posed for the camera. Another stunning bug i-d in the bag.  Evidently this is a male because it hasn’t got an ovipositor but does have long and curved cerci.  No really.  So there is another first, not only have I identified a bug but I have sexed it too. 

(Look, I know this is supposed to be a bird blog, but it is August ok?  This was going to be a post about seeing Swifts this morning over the garden and it kind of morphed into something else.  Ho hum.)

 

conehead!

Although you might think that an insult, just imagine that it was your actual name!

Behold the Long-winged Conehead Conocephalus discolor.

 

a conehead doing not a cricket

 

 

That’ll be a patch tick and everything like that.  And I identified it all by myself for a change.  My bug book is not completely useless after all…

That patch pan listing thing hasn’t gone away by the way.  There’s no rush…

twa bugs

Bug one.  Any ideas?

a bug doing mystery

 

Bug two. Just because.

ladybird doing close-up

more sky

Cromer wasn’t too shabby on Sunday either…

sky doing some wisecrack about kansas

cley sky

The best bit of Cley, or any part of the coast yesterday afternoon was the sky…

boats and sky doing cliche