take me to your leader

Mazlan Othman.

Remember the name.

If ET does ever turn up with the capacity to communicate in a method more sophisticated by a glowing finger, and they ask to speak to our leader (rather than just turn us into slaves) then they will be pointed in the direction of Dr Mazlan Othman. You may have thought that we may have had some kind of say in this, but no. A Malaysian Astrophysicist has been designated with the task of representing our intergalactic needs. Let’s hope she’s not on holiday when they turn up. But suppose this scenario exists. Because a large chunk of humans are wittering into phones and computers and receiving images in tellyboxes, it is already acknowledged that a superior life form would already know who to find and where to find them due to the amount of electromagnetic waves that are emitting from the blue planet. So it may be in our interest to ensure that Dr Othman is not that easy to find. It could screw things up if we just offer up our leader to the first nice looking alien that turns up, and they kidnap her. We need a network of Othmans. We need imposter Othmans, fake Othmans, psueudo-Mazlans – to ensure that the aliens don’t blow us all up or eat us and we can still go for a walk round Surlingham on a Sunday afternoon. Purely selfish reasons, of course.

“Anything about, earthling?”

       “Just the usual.  You’re not from round here are ya?”

“No, I’m from beyond your borders”

       “Suffolk?”

“Whatever, take me to your leader!”

       “You mean Dr Othman, innit?”

“Indeed earthling, who is Dr Othman”

       “I’m Dr Othman”

             “No, I’m Dr Othman”

                           Etc etc